...a wonderfully mad new talent to watch...a truly original comic voice...you won't forget his hysterically hopeless characters in a hurry!'

'many comical elements and a touch of Mervyn Peake'

A terrible sect has arisen is Dullitch: they're dark, they're deadly and they're even more hell bent on the destruction of the city than the citizens themselves. All that stands between total chaos and the return of the dark gods are Duke Modeset (who doesn't like the place anyway), Jareth Obegarde (a vampire on his Mother's side) and Jimmy Quickstint (who is about to do the WRONG favour for the WRONG man). This is a thrilling story of darkness and destiny, where the brave step forward...and fall over.

David Lee Stone is an exciting new talent into the crossover market - only 25 years old but full of ideas!

An imaginary kingdom to rival Discworld and Deptford, with a cast of very funny, quirky characters.

Fast-paced fantasy adventure which will appeal to fans of Blackadder and Douglas Adams.

David, until recently an employee of Blockbuster video, has been creating the world of Illmoor since he was ten years old. He works as a freelance writer for SFX magazine. He lives on the coast in Kent and has a baby German Shepherd called Cher.

The Rotting Ferret was bustling with activity. Chas Firebrand?s decision to sell the subterranean inn to a family of goblins from Phlegm had seemed disastrous on paper, but Frowd Fjin was certainly a greenskin with talent. In a little over five years, he?d turned the place from an oft-avoided fighting pit into a respected nightclub, complete with orc bouncers, elf waitresses and even a troglodyte cabaret group.
Jimmy was miserable; he?d been waiting at the inn for hours and there was not even the merest hint of a sign of Grab Dafisful. Worse still, he knew that the barrowbird was waiting outside and no matter how many ingenious ways he invented of leaving the Ferret, his feathered curse would eventually catch up with him.

?So let me get this straight,? he muttered to the gnome who?d taken a seat beside him and promptly ordered a round. ?You?re saying that you can smash the green bottle above the bar, third along on the right, without anyone knowing it was you? Get out.?

Mixer waved him into silence.

?A crown says I can, a drink says I can?t.?

?Done.?

The gnome quickly produced a light but intricate-looking crossbow, then lowered his head and fired off a shot, thrusting the weapon under the table before the merest hint of breaking glass.

?OI!? bellowed the landlord, a swarthy half-ogre. ?WHO DID THAT? WE?LL HAVE NO SUCH SPORT IN ?ERE!?

Jimmy turned, mouth still agape, to stare at the gnome.

?Drinks?re on me, then,? he said. ?Incredible. Just incredible.?

Mixer shrugged.

?You think that?s impressive,? he started, drawing closer to the gravedigger and lowering his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. ?I can make the bells of Karuim?s toll without even touching them.?

?Rubbish; now that is impossible.?
?Ha! That?s what Grab said this morning. He?s laughing on the other side of his face now!?
?Grab? Not Grab Dafisful, the thief??
?Yeah, the very same. Why, d?you know him??
?Know him? He ... er ... he owes me fifty crowns!?
Mixer?s tiny eyes lit up.
?Oh, it?s you he owes!? The gnome tapped at his shiny brass teeth. ?He said as much; just between us, he?s hiding up on the roof of Karuim?s Church. I met him this morning when I was doing some routine maintenance work for the council. In fact, I?m due back there in a minute. D?you fancy joining me? You can have a word with Grab and then we can see who takes this incredibly fine piece of weaponry home. What d?you say??

Jimmy, ever the sucker for a gamble, took the proffered weapon in his hands, and looked it over. It was made of Chakiwood, the poisoned bark of the Red Lime Tree. Rare; expensive. It had to be worth at least a hundred crowns.

?You?re on,? Jimmy agreed, passing the crossbow back to the gnome with a nod.
?We?ll call it a deal, then,? said Mixer, staring dispassionately at the barmaid as she delivered their long awaited tankards of ale. ?Unless you want to start small; I can?t imagine a fellow like you has too much gold.?

Jimmy tried to keep a straight face, which was difficult with a mug like his. One thing everyone in the city knew about Jimmy, apart from the fact that he used to be a thief and was reasonably good with a shovel, was his marked annoyance at anyone suggesting that he was penniless.

He raised one eyebrow and tried to focus on the Rotting Ferret?s rowdy clientele.

?I?m doing OK, as a matter of fact,? he lied. ?So let?s talk turkey; when do you want me to witness your terrible failure at the church? Now??

A silence settled over the table.
?Well, there?s no time like the present. Isn?t that what they say??
?Sure, OK. Give me a minute to pay the piper; I?ll be right back.?
?Result,? Mixer said, with an evil grin. ?Hurry up though, I can?t hang around all night.?
Jimmy nodded, jumped out of his chair and dashed through the bar. Once safely beyond the grimy door which led to the Ferret?s condemned latrines, he hurtled along a dank passage,
up three flights of half crumbled steps, past a dingy back door, over the wall in the Ferret?s beer garden, down the alley which clung to its western side and out into the street that contained the inn?s decrepit entrance doors.
The barrowbird spotted him immediately, alighting from its perch on a first-floor windowsill of a bakery across the road.
?Anything?? it squawked. ?I haven?t seen him go in.?
?He?s not there,? Jimmy hurriedly confided. ?But I?m talking to a gnome who?s gonna take me to him.?
?A gnome??
?Yeah.?
?What, just like that??
?Yes!?
?No questions asked??
?Yes, I mean, NO!?
?Does the gnome know anything about the group that hired him??
?I don?t KNOW!?
?Can?t you find out??
?NO!?
?Why not??
?Look, it?s simple. He thinks he owes me money!?
?Who, the gnome??
?Grab, damn it! Why don?t you listen??
?I am listening; why can?t you speak properly??
?Don?t start with me! I?m doing you a favour here.?
?Ha! You dug your own grave, boy. Now you listen. Why don?t you follow this dwarf-?
?It?s a gnome, and I?m GOING TO!!!!!?
?Right, and then I?ll follow the pair of you.?
?D?you think so? Gad, and I thought I was sharp. Can I go now??
?No, wait! Just hang on a minute; how did you get out??
?I lied; told him I was going to the latrine.?
?Right. So hadn?t you better get back inside then, so we can follow him when he leaves??
?Yes! That?s what I?m saying!?
?Well, don?t let me keep you.?
Jimmy rolled his eyes. Then he raced back down the alley, leapt the wall, shouldered past the door, fell down the stairs, hurtled along the corridor, bumped his way through the bar, landed on the three-legged stool opposite the gnome, and promptly fell off it.
Mixer swallowed a gulp of ale.
?That was quick,? he said.

2007-06-11 obegarde rules! bring on the vampires!

after reading this i felt compelled to read the rest and i did within two weeks. i loved it especially the vampire man. i qould recomend to any one because it is a great read and really funny. not wanting to spoil the plot but obegarde's 'death' scene was brill.