2008-05-26 Ludicrous Latin

This is not a funny book.

My dictionary defines 'laughable' as 'producing scorn', therefore, the title of this book means - "Latin that produces scorn" which describes completely how I felt reading it. I had been hoping for "Latin that produces laughter" - how totally wrong I was.

Then again, maybe the whole thing's just an in-joke being played out on us, the purchasers, by the publisher?

This book's "humour" is so dire I was baffled why the publisher, Michael O'Mara, ever funded it. Then, on reading inside the front cover, I discovered that 'the witty Latin phrases' were compiled by Lesley O'Mara, the MD of said publisher... ah... the penny drops!

If you're like me, you'd expect a collection of witty, wise or even inspirational words (preferably a mix of each) as uttered by Ancient Romans or by sagacious folk ever since. If so, don't buy this book, it doesn't contain any of that stuff, but what it does contain is translations for things like:

"Have they had any barbarians around there lately?"
"You need some more urine on that cloth"
"Hey, he's groaning. He's not supposed to groan."
"No, I don't want goat's milk; that's for women."
"Can I rent a slave there?"
"No, it's not from the library; it's from my personal collection."

(Forgive me please for not bothering with translations for these 'witty' excerpts, and yes, the rest of the book IS just the same).

But perhaps the most revealing phrase comes tucked away at the back of the book, and this time I will include the translation...

"Scribo librum ad dirigendum per illas terras paganas. Pecuniam magnam librario importabit"
- meaning -
"I'm writing a guide book to these heathen lands. It will make a lot of money for the publisher."

Somehow I don't think they'll succeed.

So, never mind the few pennies it cost me to buy, my sympathy lies with Rose Williams, the Latin scholar who had to translate this tripe. I can live without those coins, but how can she live with this book? Oh, what we have to do for money...