2005-06-12 Two books every Adoptive Parent should have

Our Daughter was six when she first came to us. Despite all the work done by the Social Workers she still had great difficulty in understanding exactly what the Adoption Process really meant. It all went round and round inside her head, and every so often she would ask questions which clearly showed that she did not fully understand what had and was happening to her.
We bought "Chester and Daisy Move On" and sat and read it with her as a reading practice book. This is an excellent book and nobody adopting young children should be without a copy. Now we often find our Daughter reading the book quietly by herself. Whilst her family circumstances were not quite the same as in Chester and Daisy, she now has a much better understanding of what Adoption means, the process and terminology. The book is very child-friendly with good illustrations.
Our daughter is now eight, and at times is very angry about what has happened in her short life. We have graduated to a copy of "Nutmeg Gets Cross" and again we read it together. Whilst it is best suited to younger children, it is helping her to try to understand the maelstrom of emotions she feels inside her. This also has good illustrations and is couched in clear, easily understood language. The practice guidelines enclosed with "Nutmeg" are useful too, as they helped us to realise that a child's anger and grief over the loss of a Birth Family is a sad feature of Adoption, and is not as a result of something wrong with our parenting.